Successful Relationships Advise

in Relationships

Successful Relationships Advise

How Are Your Relationships?

When you think of the word successful relationships , what image comes to mind? Also by who’s definition, and by what criteria are successful relationships measured?

And does a good relationship equate to a happy marriage?

How do your successful relationships measure up and more importantly-how do you get your relationship back on track with your spouse, your family, colleagues at work and/or your extended family?

About me , I do not provide marriage counseling .

I am not a marriage counselor, nor am I licensed therapist, a match maker nor a Psych doctor.
However I have been married to the same lovely Christian Indian woman I first fell in love with over nearly 26 years ago in 1985, and am still madly in love and crazy about her to this day!

So I think I do have some real life practical experiences from which to speak frankly to you about the subject matter of successful relationships and what is required on your part, in making happy and successful relationships for yourself.

Tips for Successful Relationships Building….

Rule Number# 1: Where is God in your Relationship?

If you think you’re going to receive a Sermon on the Mount dissertation on the importance of including the God of the entire universe in your relationship building-don’t worry..my site is not about that.

However drawing from my own personal Christian background and my own personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ Himself, I make no excuses and offer no apologies if my Christian hope and faith offends you or someone else. That’s between you and God..

My philosophy is this, as tough as it is just surviving in this game called life that we are all apart, it is difficult enough on good days at times, and I praise God that I have my faith in the Lord to draw upon every day (especially in times of need).

Don’t worry I am not trying to convert you into becoming a Christian-that’s the Lord’s doing-not mine I am but the messenger but it is He who is the Message. I’m just trying to make you understand that the Power of Prayer is HUGE , in how to meditate and pray, is very important and powerful.

Having faith in a personal Savior that you can talk to any hour of the day is very encouraging for yourself and is required for your spiritual growth and for your character development.

If you ever want to know the secret of how to be happy , and how to succeed in your life, and in your relationships, put God first in your life.

I firmly believe that most everyone on this planet including yourself believes in something, especially in matters of relationships, that should be first on your to do list in calling upon the name of the Lord for help and guidance with all aspects of your relationship. There’s an old adage The family that Prays Together-Stays Together Think, pause and reflect upon those words and allow God to minister to your hopeful-successful relationships needs in your life.

Rule # 2: Successful Relationships Require Putting Others’ needs above yours

As human beings, everyone of us has his/her own agenda, it’s part of the human condition called sin that everyone of us were born into. We all want when we want it at everyone else’s’ expense which is just not right and demonstrates mankind’s ultimate selfish motives in life.

I know what I’m talking about here as I was in this same category earlier in my marriage–always putting my personal needs and wants above my wife’s. I almost lost my wife in divorce due to my very selfish nature, and only through good marriage counseling and our faith in God, we were able to overcome our personal marriage challenges and are stronger today because of those trials that made us grow. Am I perfect-no I am not-and last time I checked-no-one else on this planet is perfect as well, including you.

But this is something I have to work at daily and you will need to do so as well if you want a meaningful and successful relationships that are God centered. Working on restoring and mending fractured relationships requires self discipline, and self motivation if you want to improve.

Rule #3: Honesty really is the Best Policy…

I know you’ve heard this saying before but this is so true not only in life itself but in your relationships. Do you think an employer would keep you on the pay roll knowing you are purposely lying? Why do you think your spouse should keep you around and think any differently if you continue to spend behind his/her back and lie or cheat on your spouse? This really demonstrates a tremendous lack of character development on your part. Honesty is the best policy.

Or…

If you’re doing other wrongful, hurtful, unethical or immoral acts? Your actions bear a consequence and affect not only yourself but others as well including your spouse, parents, or your entire family. Maybe your situation is such that you need professional counseling and therapy. This is fine providing you, your spouse and family are in agreement. The important part is you recognize the warning signs and that you are thinking enough of your relationship to make it a happy relationship, and hopefully a loving relationship as well. Honesty really is the best policy.

Rule# 4: Learn to Forgive and to Ask for Forgiveness

Do you realize the hardest two words to say are I’m sorry ?It is far much easier to harbor anger, resentment, bitterness which leads to hatred , than being contrite and demonstrating a true remorseful attitude and spirit towards your spouse or family with unconditional forgiveness . However I also realize that that you may be at such a point in your life that you feel that you can’t be forgiven nor are you able unable to genuinely offer forgiveness others-Why is this so?

We all make mistakes-none of us are perfect, and unresolved feelings of bitterness, anger and resentment will continue to grow like a cancer-eventually choking off the remaining life force of your once happy and numerous successful relationships.

Life is far too short. The grave yards are full of could of, should of, would of…. people who only wish that they had a second chance. You too, don’t let the sun set tonight before making amends in healing your broken relationships-whether it is with your parents, your neighbor down the street, your spouse or your children. I’ve been there.

In 1994 my mother died in Saudi Arabia where she worked since 1981. Some years before that we had a falling out, and I refused to forgive her for things that were done earlier as a child due to my parents divorce .

Fast forward……

In December of 1993 my mother visited us one last time which we didn’t realize would be the last time, my brothers and I would ever see her alive again. At my loving wife’s urging..I asked my mother’s forgiveness and vs. versa. We shed tears as we were both looking forwards to a better and stronger renewed mother-son relationship.

I was really looking forwards to seeing her during her next scheduled visit which was to be in October 1994.

My mother died October 16, 1994 of a massive heart attack.

She never got to see her son finish grad school, or many of the other things my wife, and my brothers and I had planned with her.

But you know what? I have the inner peace and contentment , knowing that I forgave her and she did the same for me during that last Christmas together in 1993.

Life is too short….and once your loved ones are buried –it’s too late..…All relationships are worth it-even yours…. Remember, the biggest room in the entire world is the room called self improvement , and self improvement is something all people need more of.

How about you?

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