Anger Management Tips

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Anger Management Tips For Managing Anger

What is the Outcome of Uncontrolled Anger and Rage?

Anger management seems to be a very hot topic these days for discussion, from the office water coolers, to various sporting event venues, to the family at home, anger management and managing anger and rage is an issue….

What creative visualization images come to your mind when you think of a hot temper or a bad temper or rage? Perhaps you too can reflect upon a childhood incident or two that really affected you as a child or in your young adult life in managing anger when you were full of anger and lost your temper…

Perhaps more recently, you or a loved one can relate either from a recent bad temper experience that affected you while on the job pursuing your career goals, or from your college planning days.

How did your bad temper or hot temper affect you personally, and what did you do about it-if at all in trying to control your anger and rage that you felt?

Are you able to manage anger affectively and more importantly are you using positive thinking and a positive attitude to control your anger management?

Do you realize that one out of five Americans has difficulty in managing anger and rage-so why is anger management important? Anger is a natural human emotion and is nature’s way of empowering us to “ward off” our perception of an attack or threat to our well being.

Anger in itself is not a bad thing-the problem is not anger per se…the problem is the mismanagement of anger which becomes rage if not controlled. Mismanaged anger and rage is the major cause of conflict in our personal and professional relationships from domestic abuse, road rage, workplace violence, and even addictions .

If you pick up any newspaper or watch the news, you are bombarded with anger, from domestic violence that turns to hatred and murder. From work place violence, to violence in our schools, in our governments and around world.

Unfortunately you may not be able to control the world around you but you can and should be able to control yourself and your actions. . You are in charge of yourself, your life and how you interact with others. Nobody makes you do things-you freely choose to do and act on your own free will.

If you get to the breaking point and feel like you are going to explode with rage inside, take a deep breath, close your eyes for a moment and ask God to help you in how to meditate. Apart from God in our lives we are hopeless in conquering the anger from within. Develop the hope and faith in dealing with anger that only God can provide.

Although anger is a perfectly normal human reaction-the challenge and your smart goals should be controlling your anger before your anger controls you and makes you a slave.

Seven Strategies In Managing Your Anger

Relaxation

Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing and relaxing imagery, can help you calm down your anger feelings and rage. There are many excellent books and courses such as Stress Relief & Relaxation Techniquesthat can teach you relaxation techniques in helping you to deal and manage anger and rage appropriately. Once you have learned these anger management techniques, you can apply these anger management tips in any situation in managing anger for yourself in controlling your temper and rage.

If you are involved in any number of successful relationships where both partners are prone to hot temper and are full of anger, it might be a good idea for both of you to learn these anger management techniques so you are better equipped in managing anger and controlling your anger and rage in your own lives…

Power of Prayer In Anger Management

I am a Christian believer and I can relate from first-hand experience the power of prayer, how to meditate , and its soothing effect in helping you to calm the anger within you when hot temper, bad temper, rage and uncontrolled anger takes over and irrational thoughts prevail.

Please don’t misinterpret what the I am saying here, my higher power is the Lord Jesus Christ Himself and I have often called upon His name in times of stressful situations which has helped me tremendously when I have been full of anger and in a rage state of mind.

My point here is having the hope and faith and in believing in God and calling upon His name is a tremendous tool for helping you overcome managing anger and rage that you are experiencing at that moment in helping you calm down in your anger management. The power of prayer and how to meditate , has a tremendous calming and soothing effect on your personal emotional well being in neutralizing the anger and rage inside of you before your anger gets out of control.

Positive Visualization

Simply put, this means changing the way you think and focusing on positive thoughts. Creative visualization is a positive technique that enables you to focus on positive things. How to be happy start with God first in your life. Also, use positive thinking instead of the anger and hot temper feelings you are experiencing at the moment in your anger.

You see, when you are full of anger and rage, people in general (yourself probably included here…)tend to curse, swear, or speak in highly colorful terms that reflect your inner thoughts in your anger. When you’re full of anger, your thinking can become clouded and very exaggerated when your anger turns into rage.

You should try replacing your hot temper and bad temper anger feelings with more rational thoughts using creative visualization. For instance, instead of telling yourself, “oh, it’s awful, it’s terrible, every thing’s ruined,” tell yourself, “it’s frustrating, and it’s understandable that I’m upset about it, but it’s not the end of the world and becoming full of anger over the situation is not going to fix it anyhow.”

Be careful to avoid using the “never” or “always” when talking about yourself or someone else. “This !&*%@ machine never works,” or “you’re always forgetting things” are not just inaccurate, they also serve to make you feel that your anger is justified and that there’s no way to solve the problem.

Your words also alienate and humiliate people who might otherwise be willing to work with you in resolving the situation in your anger management quest.

Problem Solving

Sometimes, your anger, rage and frustration are caused by very real and inescapable problems in your life. Contrary to public opinion-not all anger is misplaced. Believe it or not, anger is a healthy, natural response to these difficulties.

There is also a cultural belief that every problem has a solution, and it adds to your frustration and growing anger and rage to find out that this isn’t always the case. The best positive attitude to bring to such a situation, then, is not to focus on finding the solution, but rather on how you handle and face the problem.

Make a plan, and check your progress along the way in managing anger. Resolve to give it your best attempt , but also not to punish yourself if an answer doesn’t come right away. If you can approach the situation with your best intentions and efforts and make a serious attempt to face it head-on, you will be less likely to lose patience become full of anger and rage and fall into all-or-nothing thinking, even if the problem does not get resolved immediately.

Better Communication

People full of anger tend to jump to—and act on conclusions, when some of these very conclusions may be misguided and altogether very inaccurate. The first thing to do if you’re in a heated argument is to slow down and think through your responses so you do not lose your cool in a state of anger and rage.

People often say things and react out of context when managing anger. Especially in business communication , and standard business writing. Don’t make the mistake of falling into the trap of saying the first thing that comes into your head; instead slow down to think and reflect carefully about what you want to say and how you say it. At the same time, listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.

Listen, to what may be the underlying cause of the bad temper and anger that is affecting you…For instance, you like a certain amount of freedom and personal space, and your “significant other” wants more connection and closeness. If he or she starts complaining about your activities, don’t retaliate by painting your partner as a jailer, a warden, or an albatross around your neck.

It is very natural to become very defensive when you are criticized, it’s human instinct but don’t fight back. Instead, listen to what are the underlying words spoken: the message that this person might feel neglected and unloved.

It may take a lot of patient questioning on your part, and it may require some breathing space, but don’t let your anger—or a partner’s—let a discussion spin out of control in a hot temper rageful state. Keeping your cool can keep the situation from becoming a disastrous one in your quest in your anger management.

Using Humor and Laughter

“Silly humor” can help defuse rage in a number of ways. For one thing, it can help you in acquiring a more “healthy” and balanced perspective in your anger management. When you are full of anger and rage and call someone a name or refer to them in some imaginative phrase, stop and picture what that word would literally look like.

If you’re at work and you think of a coworker as a “dirt-bag” or a “single-cell life form,” for example, picture a large bag full of dirt (or an amoeba) sitting at your colleague’s desk, talking on the phone, going to meetings. Do this whenever a name comes into your head about another person.

If you can, draw a picture of what the actual thing might look like. This will take a lot of the edge off your anger and rage; and humor can always be relied on to help unknot a tense situation.

Changing Your Environment

Sometimes it’s your immediate surroundings that cause you irritation, anger and rage. Problems and responsibilities can weigh on you and make you full of anger at the “trap” you seem to have fallen into and all the people and things that form that trap.

Give yourself a break, making sure you have some “personal time” scheduled for times of the day that you know are particularly stressful, will create wonders in your stress management. One example is the working mother who has a standing rule that when she comes home from work, for the first 15 minutes “nobody talks to Mom unless the house is on fire.”

This technique is an excellent way of anger management. After this brief quiet time, she feels better prepared to handle demands from her kids without blowing up at them in a state of anger and rage.
Additional Tips for Managing Your Anger…
Timing: If you and your spouse tend to fight when you discuss things at night—perhaps you’re tired, or distracted, or maybe it’s just habit—try changing the times when you talk about important matters so these talks don’t turn into arguments which can cause you both to become totally engulfed in anger.

Avoidance: If your child’s chaotic room makes you furious every time you walk by it, shut the door. Don’t make yourself look at what infuriates you and causes you to fly into anger and rage…Don’t say, “well, my child should clean up the room so I won’t have to be angry!” That’s not the point. The point is to keep yourself calm in your managing anger quest.

Finding alternatives: If your daily commute through traffic leaves you in a state of anger, rage and frustration, give yourself a project—learn or map out a different route, one that’s less congested or more scenic. Or find another alternative, such as a bus or commuter train or metro.

Do You Need Personal Counseling? If you feel that your anger is really out of control, if it is having an impact on your relationships and on important parts of your life, including your professional life, you might want to consider counseling in order to learn how to handle your rage and anger better in anger management.

A psychologist or other licensed mental health professional can work with you in developing a range of techniques for changing your thinking and helping you in managing anger, your bad temper and rage.

When you talk to a prospective therapist, tell her or him that you have problems with anger management and rage that you want to work on these issues in better managing anger for yourself. Ask about his or her approach to anger management and rage. Make sure this isn’t only a course of anger management designed to “put you in touch with your feelings and express them”—that may be precisely what your problem is.

With counseling, psychologists say, a highly angry person can move closer to a middle range of anger in about 8 to 10 weeks, depending on the circumstances and the anger management techniques used.

How About Assertiveness Training? It’s true that angry people need to learn to become assertive (rather than aggressive), but most books and courses on developing assertiveness are aimed at people who don’t feel enough anger or rage.

These people are more passive than the average person; they tend to let others walk all over them. That isn’t something that most people full of anger do. Still, these books can contain some useful tactics to use in frustrating situations of anger and rage. Remember, you can’t eliminate anger—and it wouldn’t be a good idea if you could.

In spite of all your efforts, things will happen that will cause you to fly into a state of anger and possibly rage; and sometimes it will be justifiable anger and rage that you feel. Life will be filled with frustration, pain, loss, and the unpredictable actions of others. You can’t change that;

but….

you can change the way you let such events affect you. This is called being in control…Controlling your anger, bad temper and your rage can keep you in check in your anger management…

Some Additional Tips in Managing Anger:
Breathe deeply from your diaphragm; breathing from your chest won’t relax you. Picture your breath coming up from your “gut.”

Slowly repeat a calm word or phrase such as “relax,” “take it easy.” Repeat it to yourself while breathing deeply.

Use imagery; visualize a relaxing experience, from either your memory or your imagination.

Non-strenuous, slow yoga-like exercises can relax your muscles and make you feel much calmer.

Practice these anger management techniques daily so you are able to learn how to use these stress relievers in your anger management-immediately when your anger rears its ugly head…

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